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Late at night, in the dark, at my insistence. When I got a new company car, Jo insisted we christen it. Front seat, back seat, on the bonnet (hood) an... over the boot (trunk). I’m damn sure if the garage roof had been high enough, she’d have had us try on top of the car as well. The net result of all this shagging was that I was a very happy man. Even when her parents called round, I knew that I was going to be fucked to exhaustion once they had left. It was Jo’s way of thanking me for putting. “I know I’ve been saying that for months but I will, I promise.”There were a few cliché moments after that. Cliché numbr one: retaining my dignity as one would expect I turned and hurled the glass of brandy at her. Class, no? Then cliché number two when she said I had misunderstood. Like fuck I had. Cliché number three when I mimicked her saying, “Your fingers work magic,” and chucking something else at her. She leant against the door jamb, arms folded and finally, quietly said she’d been. Carol will be there, I heard her telling Susan.”“No way,” said John doggedly. “I’ll not go if I’m not invited.”The group knew better than to argue, shrugged and the conversation turned to other things.John did the usual Saturday chores: shopping for food for the rest of the week, cleaning his car (he never used a car wash, not trusting them to do the job thoroughly enough for him), and doing his washing and minimum ironing.In the evening he phoned his parents, to be told they were leaving next. " Said Marcelo, opening the suitcase to reveal four, half metre square blocks, each about four inches deep.As had been instructed the living room had been arranged to be empty apart from a coffee table set in the middle of the room. He set one square block in each corner. "These," he told the girls, "are you 'carrots' tonight." But how?" Asked Jane.Marcelo smiled and turned one block over to reveal a giant dildo fixed to the underside of the block on a hinge. It must have been at least fourteen.
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